CM Punk is not gaslighting AEW
This article is in response to Deadspin’s CM Punk is gaslighting AEW
It’s happened again. The murmurs have become a growl. CM Punk is heading (back) to AEW. But he’s not gaslighting his way there.
The event that fans have come to know as Brawl Out was made for the social media age.
When CM Punk shoved some muffins in his mouth and aired his grievances like it was Festivus, he gave wrestling fans something they could debate online endlessly and, more importantly, pick a side on.
We didn’t have Twitter during the Montreal Screwjob. This was our moment.
To summarise the current reporting on CM Punk: he wants to return to AEW, he’s going to have a meeting that involves Tony Khan and Chris Jericho, he wants to meet with the Elite (they don’t seem to want to) and FTR really wants to tag with him against the Young Bucks and Kenny Omega.
Yes, these recent reports paint Punk as the one looking to do what’s best for business and The Elite aren’t playing ball.
Maybe to some Punk might even look sympathetic now.
And yes, it has not been reported that Punk has apologised or taken responsibility for his actions.
So does Punk putting it out there that he’d do a match with The Elite while they aren’t so forthcoming make him a gaslighter?
Is CM Punk gaslighting AEW?
Absolutely not.
Gaslighting is a term that has increased in popularity over recent years but its prominence in the mainstream has not led to an increase in understanding of its meaning.
The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight (which was originally a play) which deals with a woman being manipulated by her husband into believing she is insane.
Gaslighting is a form of emotional and psychological torture. When you're being gaslit you feel like you’re losing your mind. You question your perception of reality, what you’ve seen, and what you’ve heard. You wonder if it really is all in your head and if none of what you’ve experienced is real.
Of course, it mostly happens in romantic relationships.
Say, for example, your boyfriend likes to go out a lot at night alone. He tells you he’s just hanging out with the guys. But you see signs that that’s probably not true. There are Facebook posts from other girls on his wall, you see names of women you’ve never heard of pop up on his phone.
You ask him about this but he tells you you’re imagining it. He’s got an answer for everything.
He tells you you’re just too sensitive, and paranoid. He’s done nothing wrong, there are no other women.
Maybe one night you call him when he’s out. He says he’s playing video games with the guys but in the background, you hear female voices. He then forgets to hang up the phone and you go on to hear him say that it was ‘just some girl who thinks she’s my girlfriend’ then the whole room laughs. When he comes home (cause you do live together) and you tell him what you heard, he tells you you’re insane, it never happened, you’re hearing things, you’re just crazy and any issues in your relationship are a result of your mental problems.
This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this and it won’t be the last.
That’s what it’s like to be gaslit by someone.
The more we use terms like gaslighting to describe situations where it is nowhere near applicable we diminish their value and strip them of their ability to describe situations where real harm is happening.
If CM Punk returns to AEW it is because Tony Khan wants him to. Maybe even Warner Bros want him to.
The issues between him and Kenny Omega, him and The Young Bucks, and even him and Chris Jericho are for Tony Khan to ensure are resolved.
Essentially, CM Punk felt aggrieved by The Elite. He called them out publicly while sitting next to his boss. Then there was a locker room fight.
This is something that should never have happened and things should never have been allowed to escalate to this point.
The whole drama has since played out in publications like the Wrestling Observer or FightFul, with one side putting out a titbit of information for us all to dissect and argue over.
At the end of the day, these are adults, adults who should be able to sort out their business face-to-face like grown-ups. No talking to reporters, no posting memes, no liking tweets - everyone involved is old enough and should be wise enough to handle this behind closed doors.
We may never know if CM Punk apologises but it’s not our business to know. It is up to Tony Khan to ensure everyone is happy with whatever resolution is come to.
Maybe you’re reading this and you hate CM Punk. Maybe you have a strong parasocial relationship with Hangman Page and The Elite and you believe he behaved appallingly towards them and should never return to AEW.
You are entitled to your opinion. But please don’t use terms like gaslighting to describe this situation.
Please don’t use terms like gaslighting when we’re talking about a locker-room fight between wrestlers.
It’s hyperbole like this that allows wrestling to continually make big topics of conversation out of things that, in a wider context, are not that serious.
Wrestling loves to pick and chose its issues. In the past six months, some have made CM Punk out to be the biggest villain in wrestling. It’s not just the fans, it’s other wrestlers too.
But were any of these wrestlers (in either AEW or WWE) vocal about the accusations against Vince McMahon? Or would they rather have thanked Vince when he ‘retired’ instead of taking a stand so he couldn’t come back?
I wonder, how many wrestlers have questioned Jeff Hardy’s return compared to those that will question Punk’s?
Whatever side you’re on, I ask you to please take a step back and put your parasocial relationships with these wrestlers aside when you think about the situation.
And if you are in any kind of a relationship, romantic or otherwise where you feel you are losing your mind, or being taken advantage of, or manipulated please get help. And if you see a friend struggling in these situations please try your best to help them.
Gaslighting is not a meme or a fun urban dictionary word, it is abuse.
If you've been affected by any of the issues raised here organisations including Refuge (www.refuge.org.uk) and Women's Aid (www.womensaid.org.uk) can provide further support and information. The 24-hour, freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247. The US National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or text LOVEIS to 22522.
You can find me on Twitter @stephaniemchase